One of the most infamous zones men get stuck into has to be the friend zone. Avoiding being put into a friend zone is a big priority for many men. There are, however, more toxic zones, ones that are much more detrimental to men’s mental health which I rarely hear people talk about.
Men’s mental health epidemic is on the rise
Men’s mental health has never been in such a steep decline, and now is as good a time as ever to address some of the most significant pitfalls many men face on their journey.
When it comes to the whole ‘manosphere’ phenomenon, it’s undeniable that not all the advice young men come by is solid. There are some pretty questionable things people say online and trust me, the last thing I want to do is to act like my advice and viewpoint are superior.
What I hope to achieve with this blog is to give men advice centered around their well-being. My priority is to make sure my advice doesn’t push people toward having unhealthy standards and expectations. I give my best to curate advice that comes from a holistic standpoint if you will.
Especially when it comes to a topic as vital as men’s mental health, which I believe is in serious decline.
Not a lot of people have the guts to admit that they are the reason why their lives aren’t flourishing. It takes a lot of self-reflection to come to such a conclusion, and most men don’t even know where to start.
That’s why we’re going to cover 7 major danger zones that have a detrimental effect on men’s mental health.
The Autopilot Zone
Most of the functions the human body performs are done on autopilot. Thank god for that. But when we cross the physiology barrier and enter the realm of psychological matters, autopilot becomes a curse. Having it take care of pumping blood is a blessing, but the minute it starts controlling our choices all hell starts to break loose.
Lack of structure in our lives is a big reason why we leave things to the autopilot to handle. Sometimes life can get too much to handle so we’d rather just live life as is, instead of taking charge and getting things organized. And it’s not a simple thing to do. Organizing your life is a serious task, and it’s not a coincidence a lot of us struggle with it. Not to mention all the distractions the golden age of technology brings about.
If your life lacks structure and your days resemble one another, you’ve entered the autopilot zone. There’s no need to worry, leaving it isn’t all that hard. It does require consciously choosing what you spend your time on, but where there’s will there’s a way.
Autopilot zone can become a very taxing predicament that carries an immense risk and will also make you feel miserable. It will make you feel subconscious pressure of wasting your life and will cause demotivation and couch potato-ness.
If you recognize it, you can fight it. And if you can fight it, you can win.
The Comparison Zone
How often do you feel completely smitten with a girl on Instagram until you see she has a boyfriend. And then you feel kind of mad. Not seriously mad, but, you know, kind of hurt a bit.
Why’s that? Do you like her? Do you think her boyfriend doesn’t deserve her? Would you be a better fit for her?
Or are you just comparing what they have with what you don’t?
The comparison zone is one of the most dangerous delusions men face, and it has a serious life-ruining potential. Whether it’s a beautiful girl’s boyfriend or your neighbor who drives a Porsche, you should never allow yourself to enter the zone of comparison.
No matter how great someone else’s life seems from the outside, comparing yourself to them is the unhealthiest way of assessing your situation.
First of all, we’re all unique human beings, and what one lacks another has in abundance.
The second thing is, don’t assume what other people want and need.
I know that a lot of people, especially on YouTube would like you to believe that every single woman wants only your money, but honestly, that’s just a silly generalization.
Not all men want a dumb docile girl, and not all women want a man who only provides them with money.
For 90% of the people, the truth is somewhere in between those two extremes.
Don’t limit yourself based on assumptions. And don’t compare yourself to people. Especially those you know nothing about.
The Hustling Zone
This is arguably the most toxic zone anyone could get stuck into. Young men seem to be especially hurt by the whole hustle culture thing going on on the internet. There are a lot of people online who’d like you to believe that the only thing you need for success is hard work, and if you haven’t made it yet, it’s only because you didn’t put in enough hours.
I think it’s total BS.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not against hard work. Not at all. All I’m saying is that I believe success=hard work isn’t a correct equation.
Success is much more than just how hard you work.
It’s about how smart are you with the work you do put it, how well you manage your time, how disciplined you are, how much time you leave for the activities that make you feel happy and relaxed, and how well you sleep.
Success depends on so many factors other than your hard work. That’s why saying that the only thing to worry about is waking up at 5 and working harder than anyone else is a complete bs.
Success should come as a product of meaningful action. And when it comes, you should organize your life in such a way that there are both space and company to actually enjoy it.
Don’t fall for the BS hustle culture wants to guilt you into believing.
Remember, working hard is amazing only if it doesn’t cause other areas of your life to suffer.
The second it starts taking a toll on your mental health, your relationships, or your overall wellbeing, you’ve got to ask yourself “Is this worth it?”
The Objectification Zone
Seeing things as objects of our desire comes easily to most men. To put it bluntly, that’s just wrong.
Men are visual creatures, but the problem lies within the unwillingness to go past what meets the eye. Not being able to see past the physicality can become a downfall in many areas of your life.
Putting too much focus on material wealth is a curse of the modern age, but does it have to be that way?
Are fast cars, piles of cash, huge mansions, and dumb, young women things a man truly wants and needs?
Or are they just stuff we want so that other people will think highly of us?
The Indecision Zone
Any man who wishes to embody his masculinity more fully needs to master making decisions and sticking to them.
The inability to reach decisions quickly can make men feel emasculated and unworthy, which is a problem none of us wants to face. Not to mention the fact that almost every man will at some point in his life have other people depend on him.
But that’s not all. Men want to feel needed. We want other people to rely on us, especially our partners and our kids. Having people rely on us makes us feel important, it makes us feel like we’re fulfilling our masculine duty.
We want to be providers and protectors. That role has boiled down to only the financial aspect, but we’re not going to discuss the delusions of modern society.
Men want to provide their loved ones with a lot more than just money. We want them to have love, security, physical protection, and safety, to feel like we’re between them and anyone who wants to harm them. We’re able to offer so much more than just money. But to embody our masculinity in its fullness, first, we need to trample the indecision barrier.
Even though it’s one of the most significant stepping stones of men’s mental health, beating the fear and leaving the indecision zone is a big task for young men across the world.
As challenging as it may be, it’s not impossible. I can guarantee that.
The No Emotion Zone
A lot of men tend to put on a mask of toughness and act like they don’t feel anything.
The problem goes even further.
Constant shaming boys go through whenever they show emotions has produced generations of men who’re completely out of touch with their emotions.
There’s nothing wrong with showing your emotions and vulnerability. Even though you are a man.
No matter how many people have told you “men don’t cry” or “why are you sad are you a little girl”, showing vulnerability isn’t a sign of a weak man.
Emotions are a big part of the human experience, and being disconnected from them is a curse no human being should go through.
Pushing your emotions down, and not expressing them is a toxic way to live. I believe it to be one of the most detrimental issues of men’s mental health.
Show your emotions, and deal with them.
F*#k it, just cry your eyes out if you feel like it. It doesn’t make you any less of a man. It does, however, make you a more self-aware human being.
The Procrastination Zone
Poor time management is one of the biggest reasons why many men of today, live their lives stuck in the procrastination zone. Oooh, such a familiar zone. You’ve met it, haven’t you?
Not being able to finish tasks on time doesn’t beam manliness.
I have struggled with procrastination my entire life. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I have been always in a battle with it. I’d tried to keep a journal over a dozen times, and not until recently was I able to actually track my time effectively.
Procrastination bears an even greater risk than just a few wasted hours a day. Its effects on men’s mental health are a force to be reckoned with. There’s something in our male brains that just needs to feel productive. We need to feel like we’re needed. like we’re accomplishing something meaningful. And boy, oh boy are there some impediments blocking our way forward.
Until such a day comes when we’re evolved enough to use technology instead of being used by it, we’re gonna have to learn how to minimize the brain-numbing effects our smartphone carries.
To exit the procrastination zone one has to act smartly and eliminate everything that stands in the way.
Every distraction that keeps you from following through with your plans must be left behind. You can’t exit the procrastination zone without dropping them.
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Conclusion
Men’s mental health has, arguably, reached its all-time low, and every single one of us needs to do what’s up to them to battle this terrible problem.
Even though my ego would like me to believe that sharing this information is some kind of important and ‘holier than thou’ work, the people who are getting real sh#t done are people who’re battling these problems on a day-to-day basis. You’re one of them, and so am I. We’re all doing the important work by trying to improve our lives.
