Are you constantly on the go, accommodating the needs of others, and never taking time for yourself? If so, then you’re a people pleaser. It’s a common problem, and it’s time to take control of your life. This guide is designed to help you break free from the chains of being a people pleaser, and gain the freedom of being able to live life on your own terms. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, prioritize your own needs, and develop healthier relationships with those around you. With the help of this guide, you can start making the changes you need to take back control of your life and become the best version of yourself.
Are you a people pleaser?
People pleasers are constantly putting the needs of others before their own. They often say “yes” when they want to say “no” and are extremely sensitive to criticism. Low self-esteem and constant seeking of approval from others are some of their main problems. They may feel guilty when they make plans for themselves, or guilty when they cancel on others. They may often feel stressed and overwhelmed and struggle to find time for themselves. Often very generous and compassionate, but may also be manipulative. They may resent being continually put on the back burner, but find it difficult to stand up to others in order to change the pattern.
Overcoming fear of rejection
If you’re a people pleaser, you tend to be very sensitive to criticism and rejection. You may fear that if you start setting boundaries, other people won’t like you anymore, or that you’ll be rejected by them. You may also feel guilty when you say “no” to others. Being afraid of losing the people in your life, and worrying that they won’t like you anymore if you start setting boundaries is another common trait of people pleasers. You may think that if you stop people pleasing, nobody will like you.
It’s important to realize that not everyone is going to like you no matter what you do about it, and that’s okay. Not everyone will like you, and the people who do like you will respect you for setting boundaries. Even if some people don’t like you anymore, it’s important to remember that you deserve to be happy and to have a healthy relationship with others, even if that means losing some people in your life.
Setting boundaries
If you want to break free from the chains of people pleasing, it’s important to start setting some boundaries.
You may want to start small and begin with the areas where you feel the most comfortable.
Saying “no” when people ask you to do something you don’t want to do or want you to do something without giving you a choice in the matter would be a great place to start.
Try setting a firm time limit on when you’re available to talk and when you’re not.
You could try setting some ground rules for when you go out with friends, and not letting yourself be pressured into doing things you don’t want to do.
If you’re worried about setting boundaries and feeling guilty, try to get in the habit of reminding yourself that you’re not being selfish, you’re just being kind to yourself.
Prioritizing your own needs
If you’ve been a people pleaser for a long time, it might feel unusual to start putting yourself first. It’s important to remember that you don’t need to feel guilty for doing this. It’s okay to want to go on a weekend away without your friends, it’s okay not to want to go out on a Friday night, and it’s okay to turn down an invitation when you really don’t want to go. Always remember that not wanting to do something isn’t the same as not liking someone. It just means that you don’t want to do what they want you to do.
When you’re prioritizing your own needs, you might want to draw up a “to-do” list for yourself and try to stick to it. It may be a good idea to make a list of your priorities and look at it whenever you feel guilty for not doing something for someone else.
Learning to say “no”
If you’ve been a people pleaser for a long time, it can be difficult to break the habit and start saying “no” to people. It’s important to remember that you’re not being rude, you’re just being honest with people. It’s okay to say “no” to someone because it doesn’t mean that you don’t like them, or that you don’t appreciate them. You can try to get in the habit of saying “no” to people as often as you can. When you’re trying to break the habit of saying “yes” all the time, it might be helpful to give yourself a reminder of why you’re doing it. It’s okay to say “no” to people without feeling guilty.
Developing healthier relationships
If you’re a people pleaser, it’s likely that you have a few toxic relationships in your life. You may have friends who constantly put you down, friends who are never around, and friends who call you when they need something but are never there when you need them. It’s important to break these unhealthy patterns. It can be difficult to do this, especially if you’ve been a people pleaser for a long time and have become used to letting people walk all over you. It may be a good idea to seek help from a therapist or to attend a support group.
Practicing self-care
If you’ve been a people pleaser for a long time, it’s likely that you haven’t been practicing self-care. How can you be good to anyone else if you aren’t good to yourself in the first place?
Practicing self-love and self-compassion, and not beating yourself up when you make mistakes is the key to healthy self-love. It’s important to remember that you’re not a bad person for making mistakes, but that you’re just a human, and humans tend to make them. You don’t need to be perfect to be loved, you just have to be yourself.
Your life your rules
When you’re a people pleaser, you don’t get to decide how your friends spend time with you, how often they call, or if they call at all. You don’t get to decide what you want to do or when you want to do it. You don’t get to decide when you need time for yourself. When you’re a people pleaser, other people decide whether or not you get to have these things.
By taking control of your life, you get to decide these things. You get to decide the type of friendships you have, who you spend time with, and how often you talk to them.
Nobody but you should get to decide what you want to do with your free time or when you need time for yourself. It’s important to remember that when you take control of your life, you don’t have to let go of the people in it.
Conclusion
People pleasing is a problem that many people struggle with. There are many benefits to making people happy, but sometimes it can take a toll on your well-being. This guide will help you learn how to stop being a people pleaser, and take control of your life. With the help of this guide, you can stop making others happy at the cost of your own happiness, and live a more fulfilling life.
